Every year my mom says that she's going to make Christmas shopping easier for herself - she's going to give money and each year she spends hours, walks miles and stresses over everyone's gift. I'm on my fourth Melanie Ward novel and after each one I think "okay, now I've got this!" But here we are three months into CHASE and I'm stressing. It isn't writers block or finger cramps - but it's the hours and miles of plot that I go through to get the story down, to make it make sense. I have a jumbled personality and unfortunately it comes out on the page and that's why I have to edit and reedit.
Yesterday I started reading Living Lies – You wouldn't think this was a difficult task but my heart races, my fingers shake and I get nervous reading my own work. It's been years since I've opened up the book - I changed, rewrote and tore those first chapters nearly to death (After each rejection notice). Bad memories of trying to please everyone. Reading Living Lies again (with fresh eyes) I see my issues, which I will kindly address as my 'style'. And though I'm tempted to go back and update (fix) some of my 'style' dilemmas, I question if that's a good idea. Maybe, when I'm finished with CHASE ... we'll see.
The goal is to get better with each book. To write clearer, to tell an interesting story with real people and entertain for the 300+ pages. I take it seriously and hope readers think about Melanie, Adam, Trish after The End of each book – and if the next one is available have to pick it up and read more. I just wish I could do all this faster because the stories are piling up inside my head. The other day I tried to learn something and discovered I have no more room - I need the equivalent to an external hard drive for my brain.
Therefore the 'No Vacancy' sign will sway behind my eyeballs until I can come up with a solution. Anyone got one?