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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Three Simple Solutions to the Decline of Civilization

You know those days at work where you feel as if you've actually accomplished more than you set out to do? Happened to me today.

I usually don't write at home. Too much laundry, dishes ... stuff I have to do that never ends. Plus I've got the neediest dogs on the planet. They knock my elbows around so I can't type then crawl under them and into my armpit ... it's fishing for a hug. And I sort of like it. But back to my point - I write at locations where they don't kick me out after two hours of hogging one of their tables. (you know where I'm talking about) Anyway, everything has a price and I have to say there is a price and I don't mean the dollar soft drink.

Daily I get a visual of someone's butt crack. It's upsetting. I can't help butt see. Not my fault. I even turn my computer around so it covers the crevasse. They know it's happening because eventually they reach back and pull up their jeans. So, in the past year I've sort of been doing a study. In my half second observation - nearly 365 times - I've noticed that there are various rises to these cracks and I've come to the hypothesis that it is dependent on how tight the jeans are. Tight pants cause the crack to start near the small of their back while looser pants are less offensive.

I'm not looking for government intervention here ... but fashion, modesty or my plain human rights ought to be enough for some kind of revolt. Longer shirts, old lady underwear, mom jeans ... come on people butt cheeks pulled in tight and peeking out the top of your pants is not attractive.  

I would just like to say to all of you who made it this far in reading my rant Thank You and I'm Sorry. But my feelings aside, I really am trying to make this world a better place for all of us.

Love One Another,

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